Darkness

Darkness is a topic that has come up a lot recently in my thoughts, and in my conversations with my dear friend Lakshmi. For a long time I have adopted the Quaker saying, "I'll hold you in the Light" as a way to say that I am keeping someone in my prayers, and it feels like a less religious way to say, "I'll pray for you." Part of my theology is that each of has "the Light of G!d" within us. It may not always be easy to see, but it is there.

But what about the Dark? Nighttime is dark, it's when we rest, it's cooler, and sometimes scary. But the Dark can be restorative. I realized when recently watching "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" [which I HIGHLY recommend!!!] that the dark takes getting used to, and ideas emerge from the Dark.

I like the idea of coming to be able to see in the Dark at first, it is scary because our primary sense is "obscured" we can't see properly, but we begin to use and notice our other senses we have to calm down and be still and slowly acclimate to the Dark and often, if we are still long enough, we can see, even if it's just shapes, or we feel our way and we make it through it doesn't have to be terrifying. A lot of times we talk about “being in a dark place” when we are going through a difficult time, full of pain. Pain hurts, but it is not bad in and of itself: it helps us to get somewhere new, or learn something, and change often involves pain.

My friend Lakshmi clarifies by saying,

“there is a difference emotionally, experientially, between the darkness that descends while we are on a path: it is confusing, sometimes painful, disorienting; and the darkness of a restorative place (like a dim cathedral or a cave or the womb or the black soil of the earth), one chooses the cave, one does not choose a hard and obscured path (usually).

me: But there is still something deeply worthwhile about each experience, and the darkness isn't necessarily bad - the light and the dark, the good and the bad all of it makes us who we are today.

Lakshmi: I think our culture regularly confuses the difficult darkness with the restorative darkness and that is problematic. Also, as you are saying, there comes a way to see the difficult times as descents into the cave: challenging, fearful, harrowing even. Yet afterward, you come back with new knowledge, strength, skills. There is a way in which the difficulties can be transformed into restoration. In addition, I believe that the more you consciously, intentionally engage with/seek out/explore the dark, the less shocking and difficult it is when you come into a dark section of your life's path. You've gained skills in "seeing in the dark" as you say, you spend less time fighting the darkness and more quickly transform it to a time of contemplation and reflection, rebirth, gestation. This is why the dark goddesses: Kali, Hecate, Persephone, are so important: because they know how to dance in the dark. They know the path. It's kind of "nothing to fear but fear itself." It's our very fear and dislike of the dark that makes the process so hard.

Carl Jung

I have been a fan of Carl Jung's since high school. I am so psyched to see this book! It looks amazing. The NYT article is pretty good. The quotation below is from the article, and is a quote from Jung who was speaking to a patient of his:

“I should advise you to put it all down as beautifully as you can — in some beautifully bound book,” Jung instructed. “It will seem as if you were making the visions banal — but then you need to do that — then you are freed from the power of them. . . . Then when these things are in some precious book you can go to the book & turn over the pages & for you it will be your church — your cathedral — the silent places of your spirit where you will find renewal. If anyone tells you that it is morbid or neurotic and you listen to them — then you will lose your soul — for in that book is your soul.”

My horoscope this Week

uh oh:*



PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): (My horoscope for the week of June 24th)

A delicious forbidden fruit will be more available than usual in the coming weeks. You can choose to ignore it, of course. You can pretend it's not even there and instead concentrate on the less forbidden fruits that are tasty enough. Or, on the other hand, you can sidle up closer to the forbidden fruit and engage in some discreet explorations, testing subtly to see whether it's any healthier for your sanity than it used to be. I'm not sure what the best decision is, Pisces, but I do suggest this: Don't just rip off all your defenses, forget all your commitments, and start heedlessly taking big bites out of the forbidden fruit.

Funny: that seems to be the theme underlying the Twilight Saga books. I am almost done with the last one of the series, and while I don't feel ready to comment on the whole "message" yet, there is definitely a subtext about controlling one's physical desires. But it's the quotation from Genesis at the beginning of Twilight that is obviously connecting with my horoscope (above) from Rob Brezsny:

Genesis 2:17
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.


I've been having a recurring nightmare for the past several years where I wake up an hour or two after I fall asleep and can't determine whether I'm still alive, or dead.

I look around my room, and it seems different. I take stock. I look at everything and it feels out of place, and I feel like there is a voice, or a message, telling me that "this isn't real, it's not your real life, you're on the other side now." And it takes me a good 5 minutes or so to figure out that I'm actually alive.

This nightmare went away for a while, but has been back in full effect recently. I wonder if my Twilight obsession is feeding in to this - the idea of eternal life mixed up with eternal death. It's very unsettling. I've been thinking that this is happening because of my big birthday coming up.... but maybe not. Do you all have any ideas?


* I don't generally put a whole lot of stock in horoscopes. I don't think they predict the future. But I do think that one should take a close look at "coincidences" and see if there is a message from the Divine that I should be listening to. The stained glass is from Chartres Cathedral, in France.